Support

Just reading another blog about Continuing Education. One of the posts was entitled, "Should You go Back to School: Eight Things to Consider Before Deciding to Go Back to School." One of the eight things to consider was "Do you have the support you need?"

Being a nontrad is tough enough as it is - going back to school after a certain age, after being out of school for a number of years, because you've lost your job, etc. - without throwing in a family, aging parents and a full time (or part time) job. It makes one feel like the guy trying to keep all the spinning plates in the air and spinning.

That's why we need support - from family members, friends and employers. Before I made the decision to go back to school, I asked my family about it. Husband and children were fine with the idea. However, when we got into the thick of things about a year ago, husband no longer wanted to be the "House Dad". I sighed, sat down with him and talked about it. He's better now.

I knew I could not go back to school with younger children. I remember my own mother returning to school when I was a pre-teen with little brothers and sisters and I remember how hard it was for my family without Mom there. Dad did a good job in picking up the slack, but it was still hard not having my Mom around when I needed her.

My children are very supportive of my pursuit of a college education. My middle son still has a bit of a hard time with it because he doesn't think he and I should be in school at the same time - something about my age. Hmmm. At least we're not on the same campus.

My sisters and Mom are very supportive. I also have a brother and brother-in-law who are back in school - online, though. My extended family is a family of learners! We are all very supportive of one another.

Deb's Continuing Education blog and Elizabeth Sheppard's blog are two blogs I find to be very supportive regarding nontraditional students. Deb and Elizabeth are great cheerleaders. I have family and friends who are great cheerleaders as well. It's great to have support as I hash through this process.

What about you? What is your support structure? Family? Friends? Profs? In the construction of one's college education and future, one needs sufficient scaffolding. Do you have the support you need? If not, find an online group, like Deb's and Elizabeth's. Stay tuned . . .

Totally Normal

I am part of E. Shepherd's non-trad group on Yahoo. A couple days ago, we got a post from a lady who will be returning to school to finish her degree in Education. She is facing the usual non-trad fears and questions: Will I be able to make it financially? Will I fit in with a much younger student population? I'm not a math person - what do I do about that part of my education?

I wanted to give her a big hug, a cup of tea and say, "Sit down, let's talk." She is so totally normal in the nontrad scheme of things. It has been my experience that the normal nontrad's biggest fear is fear. This is what I told her:

1. Finances: Fill out a FAFSA and see what kind of financial aid she qualifies for. As a single mom, she may be able to qualify for more than, say, someone like me who is married and whose spouse has a relatively stable job.
2. Fitting in: A couple things here. 1) She will most likely be able to relate to her profs more than her classmates. 2) Some of her classmates will look up to her because she is older; she will attain the "wise sage" status. 3) Find out if there is an Adult Student Association on campus; that will be a place to connect with people who are experiencing the same things she is.
3. Not a math person: Anyone who has followed my blog for any length of time knows that I am definitely NOT a math person. I believe I have mentioned that more than once (10 times, perhaps??). :) I told her to check with her advisor and in her department for tutoring services. Making use of study groups is also a good thing to do.

Returning to school at any age is a bit scary. However, the fear is totally normal. It is the fear of the unknown. But it's like anything else. Once you get in and get used to it, you're fine. Besides, there is a whole world of nontrads out there in varying degrees of nontradism, so the support is endless! All one has to do is reach out and connect - either online or on campus. It's totally normal. Stay tuned . . .